Me and the girls... chillin'

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Feeding George

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Baby Laura

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awwwww....

An Early Present

Ok,So my sisters and I got a photo scanner that scans slides for my parents, and we gave it to them early (I couldn't wait, so I talked them into giving the scanner early). Anyway, the story of HOW we got it is much more interesting... That afternoon I had gotten the brilliant idea of getting them a scanner so Kath and I researched online trying to find a relatively good one for a good price, so we finally found one that looked like a good scanner. After that we were like, how in the world are we ever going to go out and buy this? It's not like we could say to mom "hey mom could you take us to best buy?, We need to buy you a present." No, It would never work. So that night we found out that they were going out to buy us presents and I thought "This would be perfect! We could ask Grandpa to take us to Best Buy while they are gone!" Yeah, so anyways, we went out and got it within a half hour and over the next week scanned slides and prints, and put together a slideshow with the scanned pictures. It was awesome! We gave it to them on tuesday night and they were completely suprised and had absolutely no idea how we had gotten it. It was so cool to see the astonishment on their faces.... hehe! The ironic thing about this whole deal is that I NEVER, absolutely NEVER buy gifts or anything for that matter on such short notice! I have to research everything, spend days thinkning about what would be best, what they would like most... and blah.... So, this was way cool! I was so excited... probably more so that I am to get my own presents...

What I want for Christmas

Christmas... Yeah, one week from Christmas and here I am wondering if I even know what Christmas means. Christ- mas is obvious, it's about someone named Christ who came to this earth. He was born in a stable because there was no room in the inn. Something about an angel? Hmmmm... yeah, well, I do know the story and I'm sure you do. I could probably recite it. I've heard it ever since I was a baby. We read it every Christmas before gifts. Actually we probably read the Christmas story three times each year. One time at Kramer's, one at Rexford's, and one at our house. I know everything there is to know about the Christmas "story". The fact is... I take it for granted. I don't understand even a little bit what Christ had to sacrifice to come to our filthy sin-infested world. I can't imagine. So this is my prayer, this is what I want for Christmas:

Lord Jesus, my Savior, Messiah,
I love you so much, you sustain me,
Lord, what would have happened if you wouldn't have come?
What if you came and started asking for the credit you deserve?
Lord, why us?
Explain to me why, how..
Help me to know fully what it cost. Help me, every day, to know better and better the boundless endless love that you have for us. You loved us so much that you came, fully knowing that you were going to be killed by the people you came to save. How could such a holy God come into our world. With a welcome? No. A few shepherds, but THAT'S IT! God, tell me, help me understand your sacrifice. Help me to appreciate completely what you gave up to save...me. This is what I want for Christmas, to not take your sacrifice for granted anymore.

Take the focus off me

yeah, i'm not sure how i'm doing as far as being self-consumed.... but, i'm continuing to work on it. i do know this, though, it's going to be a looong journey. i'm just praying that God will become the one with whom i'm constantly consumed. it seems as if everything i'm doing is to help myself... i mean school, yeah that's good but i always try to be almost too perfect, why? to make myself look better. voice and piano lessons? so that people will think that i have some talent of which i feel like i have none..... see!!! there i go again! i'm constantly concerned with my "image"... aaaagh! do you see what i'm doing? i'm trying to gain self-worth all on my own instead of looking to the One who created me, the One who traced his hand in the dust and formed me with perfection. i am perfect, because He made me perfect. i know that's a kind of backwards way of thinking of things. none of us are "perfect" which means that we aren't capable of being in God's presence on our own. BUT! The blood of him who hung on a tree cleanses those of us who choose to accept his sacrificing love. it isn't until then that i'm perfect in His eyes. but yes, i need to accept that i am perfect in God's eyes and THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS!!!! that's it. nothing more to it. i'm absolutely beautiful, clean, full of value, yes , even perfect in the eyes of my Creator, my King.

Me

This sounds like a horribly selfish title which in fact, it is quite self-absorbed, but not selfish.. you'll see what I mean. Ok, here's the deal. Do you ever feel worthless sometimes, maybe it's physically or academically or maybe even you feel worthless as far as your personality. Well I'm afraid I sometimes feel the former and the latter of the three... especially, but the middle as well... now, I'm not asking for sympathy or reassurance. Listen to what I have to say as a girl who is trying to find her place in life... maybe you can learn something from the incompetent mind of a somewhat "worthless" child.
Okay, I'm shy, quiet, when I want to brag about myself I say that I'm a "good listener" which may be true, sometimes.... when I'm not absorbed in feeling sorry for my lack of "talent" what is talent? or my lack of "people skills"... maybe my endless failing to be outgoing and "everybody's friend" has gotten me down, I don't know. Either way I feel worthless. Yeah, you're probably sitting there thinking "this girl's depressed"... well... maybe I am. I don't think so though... I don't think so.
I know people love me. My parents love me, my sisters love me, my grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, great-grandparents. Most of all I know that God loves me. But is that enough? Why am I constantly feeling the need to impress? Is it maybe because I've disregarded the love that The King has for me? Is the reason that I'm "shy" (some of you know me better than that, but in bigger groups I'm definately not the "life of the party") because I'm holding back in order not to mess up? Do I reallly understand the depth of the boundless, endless, complete, love that My Daddy has for me? Why isn't it enough? Why do I feel worthless?
Aha! Maybe you've guessed it! I think I might have... You see, God's message is life, love, and peace. He holds out his love for the whole world to grasp and that's what we have done as Christians. God's love should be enough for us. Yes, but that where the culprit comes in, Satan. He tries to destroy that love. HE tries to tell us that it isn't enough. He has saturated our society with the desire to be the best. He plasters pictures of people with perfect bodies and faces all through our media and the "Strong, independent, multi-talented, popular, sweet, drop-dead gorgeous wonder-woman who makes guys mouths hang open" is a position which most girls covet. So, for those of us less fortunate, we resort to hating ourselves, our lives, our personality, our bodies, and our talents.
Ok, so this is an area in which I need to work on, MAJORLY!!! With God's help I know I can do it... So to y'all, you can pray for me, definately! And of course, I hope you didn't get board with my hopeless dragging on and on...